Friday, June 23, 2006

Santa Banta Jokes

u spell a word tht has more than 1000
letters in it?
Banta singh: Post office.

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What is the full form of singh : s -sardar i -insaan n -nahi g -gadha h -hai.

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Why does a Sardar keep empty beer bottles in his fridge?

They're there for those who don't drink.

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How Does a Sardar Cheat the Railways??

He buys the ticket but doesn't travel !!!!!!!!

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One evening a Sardarji starts from office to home with
pushing his scooter manually. He met his friend on the way...

Friend: why are you pushing your scooter manually?

Sardarji: 'I forgot to bring the scooter key from my
home.
Friend: 'Is it! Then, How did you come to office from
home in the morning?'

Sardarji: 'I was pushing my scooter from home to office
also in the morning.

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One day a Sardarji talking with his friend.......
Sardarji: We have to learn Telugu within 6 months or we
will not be able to communicate with my child.

Friend: Is it! Why?

Sardarji: We have adopted a telugu child and it will
start to speak after 6 months.


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BEPPO SINGH WHILE IN GRADE SCHOOL.
Teacher: What is 5 plus 4?
Beppo Singh: 9
Teacher: What is 4 plus 5?
Beppo Singh: Are you trying to fool me, you've just twisted the figure,
and the answer is 6!!

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BEPPO SINGH NEEDS VITAMINS FOR GRANDSON.
Beppo Singh: I'd like some vitamins for my grandson.
Clerk: Sir, vitamin A, B or C?
Beppo Singh: Any will do, my grandson doesn't know the
alphabet yet!!

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Jasmeet Kaur watched her husband Santa Singh searching
high and low, all over the living room.

She asked him: "What are you so frantically searching?"
Santa: "Hidden cameras!"
Jasmeet: "And what makes you think there are hidden cameras here?"
Santa:"Or else, every few minutes, how is that guy on
television saying ....'You are watching the Star World channel'? "How can
he know what I am watching?"


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Sardar:Aap kitna padhe ho?
Friend: B.A.
Sardar: kamal karte ho yaar sirf do word padhe aur woh bhi ulte.

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A friend asks sardar how was ur exam?
Sardar: It was ok but i couldnt answer past tense of THINK. I thought,
thought & finally i wrote 'THUNK'.

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Sardar: Doctor help me, mein jab baat karta huun to muje sirf awaaz sunai
deti hai, aadmi nahi dikhta.
Dr: Aaisa kab hota hai?
Sardar: Phone karte waqt.

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Ek sardar jhad pe bethkar gaa rahe the, achanak ek aur
sardar jhad se ulta latak ke gaane laga, dusre ne pucha ki ulta kyon
latka hai, dosre Sardar bola, "Oye, side B gaa raha hun."

Question: An elephant was in love with a
she-elephant.
But the she-elephant went and got married to some
other elephant. So our elephant was very Depressed.
One of his friends felt sorry for him, and took him
to
a park to cheer him up. In the park, they sat on a
see-saw, but the see-saw broke. Now, which song
would
our hero sing?

Ans: "See-saw ho ya dil ho, aakhir toot jaata hai."

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Question: Two hairs on a bald man's head fall in
love
with each other and want to get married, but
cannot.
Why?

Ans: Because under Indian laws, "baal vivaah" is
illegal.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Question: One fine morning, Ravan felt guilty day
for
all his bad deeds. He felt that he should go an
apologise to Ram for all the problems he had
caused.
So he went to Ram's house and knocked on the door.
Ram
opened the door and was surprised to find Ravan
standing there. Ravan just kept staring and
thinking
but didn't say a word. What was he thinking?
Ans: "Kis mooh se maafi maangoon?"

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Question: How do you "cut" roads?

Ans: By laughing... because "Haste haste cut jaye
raaste".

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++


Question: Luv and Kush are going to a village and
pass
by a well. Luv falls into the well. Why?

Ans: Because Luv is blind.

Question: Now, Kush also jumps in. Why?

Ans: Because Luv ke liye saala Kush bhi karega!

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Question: Jackie Chan ki saas ka naam kya
hai?...........

...........

.........Socho, socho. Nahi pata?

Ans: D'Cold; Because... Chan ki saans - D'Cold

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++


Question: Chalo ab batao, Jackie Chan ki bahu ka
naam
kya hai? ..........

.............
This one's really simple...

Ans: D'Cold again... Kyunki saans bhi kabhi bahu
thi
:-)
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++


A railway station beggar meets another beggar.A
software engineer meets another software engineer.
Both of them ask the same question to each other.
What is the question?

"So, which platform are you working on?"

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++



Question: What do you call a person who is leaving
India?

Ans: Hindustan Lever.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++


Question: What do you call a person who leaves
India,
but doesn't travel much?

Ans: Hindustan Lever Limited.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++


Question: In an elephant school, some loafer
elephants
were hanging around in the canteen. A sexy female
elephant passes by. What do the loafer elephants
say
about her?

Ans: Look yaar, 36000 - 24000 - 36000!!

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++


Question: Kalidas ka ek bhai joote banata tha. Uska
naam kya tha?

Ans: Adidas.

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Question: Prasad asks Kumble to bring a Pepsi.
Kumble
brings a bottle, but takes it directly to
Tendulkar.
Why?

Ans: Because Tendulkar is an opener.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++


Question: Who is Joe?

Ans: Kambakth ishq... Because "Kambakth ishq hai
Joe!"

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++


Question: The Madrasi said, I want to see the movie
"my heart is an umbrella'. Which movie did he
really
want to see?

Ans: Dil Chhaata Hai.


+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

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