Some marriage joke

Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends.You order what you

want, then when you see what the other person has, you wish you had ordered that.

* * *

At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring

on the wrong finger?" The other replied, "Yes, I am, I married the wrong man."

* * *

After a quarrel, a husband said to his wife, "You know, I was a fool when I married

you." She replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice."

* * *


A lady inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Husband wanted". Next day she received a

hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."

* * *

The bride, upon her engagement, went to her mother and said, "I've found a man just like

father!" Her mother replied, "So what do you want from me, sympathy?"

* * *


When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.

* * *

A little boy asked his father "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" And the

father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."

* * *

Young Son: "Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his

wife until he marries her?"
Father: "That happens in every country, son."

* * *

"I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; and then it was too late."

* * *


A woman was telling her friend, "It is I who made my husband a millionaire."

Friend: "And what was he before you married him?"

Woman: "A billionaire."

* * *

During a heated spat over finances the husband said, "Well, if you'd learn to cook and

were willing to clean this place, we could fire the maid." The wife, fuming, shot back,

"Oh yeah??? Well, if you'd learn how to make love, we could fire the chauffeur and the

gardener."


* * *

When making love, most married men fantasize that their wives aren't fantasizing.

* * *


How do most men define marriage? A very expensive way to get your laundry done free.

* * *


The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.

* * *

First guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"

Second guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."