Cool Jokes

A farmer, who went to a big city to see the sights, asked the hotel's clerk about the time of meals.

"Breakfast is served from 7 to 11, dinner from 12 to 3, and supper from 6 to 8," explained the clerk.

"Look here," inquired the farmer in surprise, "when am I going to get time to see the city?"

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"Dad, can you write in the dark?"
"I think so. What is it you want me to write?"
"Your name on this report card."

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Girl: "Mommy, today in school I was punished for something that I didn't do."

Mother: "But that's terrible! I'm going to have a talk with your teacher about this ... by the way, what was it that you didn't do?"

Girl: "My homework."
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The child comes home from his first day at school.
Mother: "What did you learn today?"
Kid: "Not enough. I have to go back tomorrow."

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Boy: "I got an F in arithmetic."
Father: "Why?"
Boy: "The teacher asked 'How much is 2x3?' and I said '6'"
Father: "But that's right!"
Boy: "Then she asked me 'How much is 3x2?'"
Father: "What's the fucking difference?"
Boy: "That's exactly what I said!"

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Teacher: "How can you prove the earth is round?"
Boy: "I can't. Besides, I never said it was."

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Teacher: "You know you can't sleep in my class."
Boy: "I know. But maybe if you were just a little quieter, I could."

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The teacher brings a statue of Venus into class and asks, "What do you like best about it, class? Let's start with you, Robert."
Robert: "The artwork."
Teacher: "Very good. And you, Peter?"
Peter: "Her tits!"
Teacher: "Peter, get out! Go stand in the hall! And you, Johnny?"
Johnny: "I'm leaving, teacher, I'm leaving..."

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Boy: "Isn't the principal a dummy!"
Girl: "Say, do you know who I am?"
Boy: "No."
Girl: "I'm the principal's daughter."
Boy: "And do you know who I am?"
Girl: "No,"
Boy: "Thank goodness!"

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Teacher: "Why are you late?"
Boy: "Because of a sign down the road."
Teacher: "What does a sign have to do with your being late?"
Boy: "The sign said, 'School Ahead, Go Slow!'"

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Teacher: "You missed school yesterday, didn't you?"
Boy: "Not a bit!"

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The answer to the problem was "log(1+x)". A student copied the answer from the student next to him, but didn't want to make it obvious that he was cheating, so he changed the answer slightly, to "timber(1+x)".